Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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