Sry I called you an 8
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
If I die, sorry about rent.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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