Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
