I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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