What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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