No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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