): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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