remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Randomize
