ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
