Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
