Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize