That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
