Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
