i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
