I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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