Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
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there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
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Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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