i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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