Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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