see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
