My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
