dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
