Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize