How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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