dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Randomize
