i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize