Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
