Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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