Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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