One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
