you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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