Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
