Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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