I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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