i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
