i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
