No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
