Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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