from now on my penis is your penis
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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