Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
