I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Drunk is not a location!
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