Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
