youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
