Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
