I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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