oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Randomize
