i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Randomize
