You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
