Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
