i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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