i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
