I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
