Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
