At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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