you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
