in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
