he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
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i dont even know how to be here
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
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I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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