I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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