Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out

  (1-904): View more from Florida

  How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?

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  (904): Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out (1-904): How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction? http://tfl.nu/euyr
  Replies (8) Good night (1696) Bad night (778)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.

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  (434): Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future. http://tfl.nu/4ejh
  Replies (32) Good night (1630) Bad night (3870)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores

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  (304): nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores http://tfl.nu/a1sm
  Replies (12) Good night (3636) Bad night (467)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.

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  (978): my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck. http://tfl.nu/9a64
  Replies (17) Good night (685) Bad night (3738)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet

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  (914): my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet http://tfl.nu/lao3
  Replies (55) Good night (2635) Bad night (4866)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze

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  (816): They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze http://tfl.nu/jmci
  Replies (4) Good night (4306) Bad night (1064)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE

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  (401): Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE http://tfl.nu/8fti
  Replies (4) Good night (3460) Bad night (837)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.

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  (804): Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care. http://tfl.nu/7tzw
  Replies (20) Good night (1226) Bad night (4092)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.

  (231): View more from Michigan

  The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter

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  (231): I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck. (231): The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter http://tfl.nu/we4f
  Replies (10) Good night (550) Bad night (1727)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  why would you automatically assume i'm high...

  (240): View more from Maryland

  you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.

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  (301): why would you automatically assume i'm high... (240): you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix. http://tfl.nu/8cui
  Replies (3) Good night (1862) Bad night (482)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away

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  (520): Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away http://tfl.nu/885d
  Replies (1) Good night (1451) Bad night (509)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle

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  (231): I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle http://tfl.nu/1xsa
  Replies (7) Good night (986) Bad night (399)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.

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  (503): Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun. http://tfl.nu/5we2
  Replies (2) Good night (782) Bad night (265)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.

  (+41): View more from Switzerland

  What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?

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  (+44): Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls. (+41): What a patriot you are. How'd it happen? http://tfl.nu/t9je
  Replies (1) Good night (385) Bad night (198)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing

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  (651): Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing http://tfl.nu/82bp
  Replies (0) Good night (365) Bad night (162)

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