I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off