Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me

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(714): View more from California

Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.

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You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
Read it at the TFLN blog
(425): View more from Washington

I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.

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(516): View more from New York

Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.

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(650): View more from California

Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S

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(301): View more from Maryland

For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick

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