Texts From Last Night

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  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...

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  (339): so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning... http://tfl.nu/swvs
  Replies (40) Good night (552) Bad night (2580)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.

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  (317): It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms. http://tfl.nu/gh72
  Replies (25) Good night (2904) Bad night (1006)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.

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  (941): Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row. http://tfl.nu/asli
  Replies (141) Good night (3970) Bad night (1223)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer

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  (713): I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer http://tfl.nu/b3qs
  Replies (19) Good night (5823) Bad night (799)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?

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  (262): Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon? http://tfl.nu/jffu
  Replies (9) Good night (4413) Bad night (1239)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me

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  (774): mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me http://tfl.nu/1umx
  Replies (12) Good night (1007) Bad night (5691)
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  (585): View more from New York

  with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible

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  (585): with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible http://tfl.nu/x1el
  Replies (8) Good night (4107) Bad night (1453)
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  (510): View more from California

  I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.

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  (510): I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit. http://tfl.nu/1jo4
  Replies (9) Good night (3000) Bad night (914)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?

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  (410): How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad? http://tfl.nu/jjfi
  Replies (5) Good night (561) Bad night (1636)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.

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  (917): There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit. http://tfl.nu/4wxu
  Replies (7) Good night (736) Bad night (1920)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"

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  (630): Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later" http://tfl.nu/rgop
  Replies (3) Good night (1887) Bad night (721)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.

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  (937): And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars. http://tfl.nu/ldzi
  Replies (4) Good night (854) Bad night (298)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right

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  (859): I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right http://tfl.nu/hkaq
  Replies (2) Good night (648) Bad night (292)
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  (325): View more from Texas

  Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money

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  (325): Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money http://tfl.nu/w1qk
  Replies (1) Good night (362) Bad night (229)
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  (863): View more from Florida

  I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again

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  (863): I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again http://tfl.nu/i6de
  Replies (3) Good night (507) Bad night (217)

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